♥ PhooiSze.
I have a great passion for both speaking and writing, hence making me a great friend but an even greater enemy. But even so, i am probably the best person alive! Why?

because i am biased, stupid. I am a PZ after all, hello?


Sweets!
Designing!
Pink. At least I am TRYING to. T__T'
Turning people into retards. It's my forte anyway.


Pink!
People who hates me MWHAHAH!


Nokia 7390
Laptop
Make my own blogskin
Let's not daydream and move on ok? =)


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wtf is wrong with me?

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i don't know. i wish i knew. i've just been so emotional these few days.

and you guys know best what that means. when i am emotional, i cut my hair.

gawd, please guide me through this. not again. not so soon. i can almost imagine myself having beautiful long hair. but how on earth will that materialize if i don't stop my tendency of cutting my hair? exactly, wtf is wrong with me?

every time i feel out of place, i cut my hair. it's not that i believe that it will ward off bad luck anyways. it's just so me that i love cutting my hair. no matter how many times already i've told myself i've gotta start somewhere if i want long beautiful hair. sighs. i think i am crazy. maybe i'll shave my head bald one day like britney.


i've been stuffing down alot too lately.

sometimes it really scares the daylight out of me reflecting at my own diet. i mean, given my petite size, who would have guess i eat more than my dad? i seem to find happiness in eating. and i am not even a food expert wtf. i just love the feeling of knowing i can eat that much. and seriously, if this goes on, i can see myself growing sideways already.

i mean, 2 bowls of large rice for a girl my height?

it's depressing, not funny, my dear. what more when people like me has no self control huh? guilt only starts gushing in once the meal is over, and there's pretty much nothing i could do for i've already down the fats. looking at my increasing waistline is even more depressing. and going on a diet isn't exactly my forte wtf. aiya alibaba you all won't understand anyways.

eating has become my way of escaping from the world sometimes. similar to cutting my hair, i eat more whenever i am sad or angry. like seriously, wtf is wrong with me? any doctors to be out there able to explain this symptom of craziness?


i just want to be happy =(

too many things have been running through my mind. i worry too much about the present and the future. sometimes i just can't help wonder would people die of thinking too much?

i think about what future holds for me. i think about what i want and what i need. i think about my goals in life. i think about what do i want to take up in college when it's still like half a decade away.

so much for a 14 year old eh?

another habit of mine is to carry unnecessary burdens on my shoulder. things totally uncalled for actually. i just feel happy being able to help others although more often than not it leaves me angry at myself. angry that i could have done a better job helping myself instead of others. angry that i have to feel so effing insecure all the time.



i've been getting angry so much nowadays that it scares people around me. i am sorry for that lor. it's not something i want. i've never liked the idea of being authoritative. but now i really don't know why things get on my nerve THAT easily. and i thought i've always been strong.

a strong guise, it is?

truth is, i don't know. people say ignorance is a bliss and yes, how true that is. i really want to shout at CERTAIN people around me how much i dislike their temper too, the way they dislike mine. i can't help but feel annoyed sometimes. the same people saying the same things over and over again. i CAN take jokes, but not all the time. i have feelings too. i live, sleep, eat, breathe hatred the way you do too. if you think i won't ever talk back just because i laugh along, you obviously still isn't aware of what's in for you.

i hope you are reading this. happy girls get angry too.



call me selfish but i think i am deserving of the treatment others get.

sorry for all these emo crap. i am just not feeling too well right now and the only way i could express myself is through words. still, i think i could have done better but this is a journal recording the bits and pieces of my life, not some essay-writing competition.

to those who had been there for me, a big thank you from the bottom of my heart. what more could i say?

sometimes, maybe it's true that chemistry does exist. with the right person around, you just feel right. words need not be expressed verbally and one could still feel it.

if any of you really read it up till here, which i really doubt any would, thank you for your time. much much appreciated. =)

Labels: confessions, Dear Diary, Emo, Me Myself and I

Your Lover's Lover 8:27 AM