♥ PhooiSze.
I have a great passion for both speaking and writing, hence making me a great friend but an even greater enemy. But even so, i am probably the best person alive! Why?

because i am biased, stupid. I am a PZ after all, hello?


Sweets!
Designing!
Pink. At least I am TRYING to. T__T'
Turning people into retards. It's my forte anyway.


Pink!
People who hates me MWHAHAH!


Nokia 7390
Laptop
Make my own blogskin
Let's not daydream and move on ok? =)


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wtf is wrong with me?

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i don't know. i wish i knew. i've just been so emotional these few days.

and you guys know best what that means. when i am emotional, i cut my hair.

gawd, please guide me through this. not again. not so soon. i can almost imagine myself having beautiful long hair. but how on earth will that materialize if i don't stop my tendency of cutting my hair? exactly, wtf is wrong with me?

every time i feel out of place, i cut my hair. it's not that i believe that it will ward off bad luck anyways. it's just so me that i love cutting my hair. no matter how many times already i've told myself i've gotta start somewhere if i want long beautiful hair. sighs. i think i am crazy. maybe i'll shave my head bald one day like britney.


i've been stuffing down alot too lately.

sometimes it really scares the daylight out of me reflecting at my own diet. i mean, given my petite size, who would have guess i eat more than my dad? i seem to find happiness in eating. and i am not even a food expert wtf. i just love the feeling of knowing i can eat that much. and seriously, if this goes on, i can see myself growing sideways already.

i mean, 2 bowls of large rice for a girl my height?

it's depressing, not funny, my dear. what more when people like me has no self control huh? guilt only starts gushing in once the meal is over, and there's pretty much nothing i could do for i've already down the fats. looking at my increasing waistline is even more depressing. and going on a diet isn't exactly my forte wtf. aiya alibaba you all won't understand anyways.

eating has become my way of escaping from the world sometimes. similar to cutting my hair, i eat more whenever i am sad or angry. like seriously, wtf is wrong with me? any doctors to be out there able to explain this symptom of craziness?


i just want to be happy =(

too many things have been running through my mind. i worry too much about the present and the future. sometimes i just can't help wonder would people die of thinking too much?

i think about what future holds for me. i think about what i want and what i need. i think about my goals in life. i think about what do i want to take up in college when it's still like half a decade away.

so much for a 14 year old eh?

another habit of mine is to carry unnecessary burdens on my shoulder. things totally uncalled for actually. i just feel happy being able to help others although more often than not it leaves me angry at myself. angry that i could have done a better job helping myself instead of others. angry that i have to feel so effing insecure all the time.



i've been getting angry so much nowadays that it scares people around me. i am sorry for that lor. it's not something i want. i've never liked the idea of being authoritative. but now i really don't know why things get on my nerve THAT easily. and i thought i've always been strong.

a strong guise, it is?

truth is, i don't know. people say ignorance is a bliss and yes, how true that is. i really want to shout at CERTAIN people around me how much i dislike their temper too, the way they dislike mine. i can't help but feel annoyed sometimes. the same people saying the same things over and over again. i CAN take jokes, but not all the time. i have feelings too. i live, sleep, eat, breathe hatred the way you do too. if you think i won't ever talk back just because i laugh along, you obviously still isn't aware of what's in for you.

i hope you are reading this. happy girls get angry too.



call me selfish but i think i am deserving of the treatment others get.

sorry for all these emo crap. i am just not feeling too well right now and the only way i could express myself is through words. still, i think i could have done better but this is a journal recording the bits and pieces of my life, not some essay-writing competition.

to those who had been there for me, a big thank you from the bottom of my heart. what more could i say?

sometimes, maybe it's true that chemistry does exist. with the right person around, you just feel right. words need not be expressed verbally and one could still feel it.

if any of you really read it up till here, which i really doubt any would, thank you for your time. much much appreciated. =)

Labels: confessions, Dear Diary, Emo, Me Myself and I

Your Lover's Lover 8:27 AM

Simplicity

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I am in a phase when I need to sort things out, once and for all.

And so I changed my blogskin into a white one, without even saving my terribly red ex-blogskin. No turning back.

Hols is here. At the time of the year when I don't feel like having it. Okay I may sound crazy. Who doesn't love hols?

Well, ME.

Not this time at least. I am starting to like school and i dread going back time. There's no pressure whatsoever in school. And I can't say the same about at home lah. Maybe the problem is with me, maybe not.

I need to get more readers like how I used to. Maybe I should write something bad about high school musical again. TEEEEHEEEEEE! -.-'

Labels: Emo, Holidays, School

Your Lover's Lover 8:52 PM

Mission Imposibble III; Return of the McMess

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Thinking of it SERIOUSLY can make my toes laugh.

Yesterday, a group of us got some McD for lunch. Nick's driver came and bought it la. So, he took about THIRTY BLAHDEEE MINUTES to purchase a few burgers, resulting in us starving like shit cuz he return the second the bell rang.

And yes, my very NOT CONSIDERATE teacher, Miss M, didn't allow us to eat because break time is over and stuff. Number one, I am not blaming her for not allowing us to makan because tht is VERY UNDERSTANDABLE, the thing is, she say all those pitiful stuff like "WHY LA BLA BLA I KNOW YOU ALL HUNGYR BUT I CAN'T ALLOW YOU TO EAT.....". Like wth wor? Don't let us eat, SHUT UP THEN.

And we thought of stupid idea of escaping just to pass the time and to let us forget tht we are STARVING like those famine struck kids in Africa. We thought of stupid ideas like crawling to the exit, escape through the door beside us [we were at the hall] and so forth la. And aslos about one fat teachers' butt =='. Chea was like 'OMG SEE THE BUT BOUNCE WHEN HE WALK".

I think I showed him this face - =='

We thought Pn Munap won't allow us to makan during her lesson because she is like omfg strict at times. ENDS UP, SHE GAVE US 5 MINUTES OKAY?! We were like eating so VIOLENTLY before she came into the class 30 seconds later. And yes, some makingafooloutofhimself idiot was like "TEACHER PPL EATING"

I can imagine wth will happen if we do tht to him. He'll turn violent and break my bones. PAMPERED AND SPOILED IDIOT...no need emo in front of us can? We call him VIOLENT btw because his name starts with a V..nono not Virgin. But DAMN NEAR CAN.

Pn Munap, we all love you. YOU ARE THE BEST BEST BEST BEST BEST BEST BEST BEST BEST TEACHER EVER. No wonder Mr Khaw say you damn caring la! And SOME PEOPLE was like laughing because everyone finish their burgers already while I haven't ate even half. CHICKENMCDELUXE CAN?! YOU WANT ME TO MUNCH HOW?! LATER I CHOKE AND DIE THEN YOU KNOW!

Sorry, I knowla I sound damn ganas. But I am NOT ok? =)

This is the meal I shall remember for the rest of my live. Never went to great lengths like this just to hve MY FOOD AND I HVE THE RIGHTS TO EAT! [like wht colin say today.]

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And today, someone wanna murder me.

Tht's exaggerate but tht guy cut my finger pretty deeply, which could lead to extreme blood lost, and then resulting in me being dead 10 minutes later. =)

Nick took the scissors I was using and then i wanna snatch it back he accidentally potong my thumb. Not THAT pain also. Only after i wash it. T.T And yes, this very second, it's very purplish. AM I GONNA DIE?!!!!!!!!

I can even exaggerate so much online like WTF WOR?!

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Everyone is so emo.

I don't know how this topic came up. I think Nick and I were talkin abotu someone who is very emo 300 days a year and theyn Nick started saying I am emo. I ask why and he said..

by the way i talk. [matila u.]

I am so NOT EMO OK?! And then when someone raises his voice little bti, we will say "AHHH YOU EMO DON'T EMO CAN?!"

Like wtf lor. Damn childish. But me like. =D

And we are having this "campaign"; SAYA TAK EMO!

We scribbled "SAYA TAK EMO" over our desk. Aih, no hobby people memang like tht one la. No offence to REAL emo ppl tho' ;P

Labels: Dear Diary, Emo, Me Myself and I, Mission, School

Your Lover's Lover 6:39 AM